Greiving Awhile

I recently experienced a lost of my spouse of 30 years. I found myself gradully doing things each year to honor or keep her memory alive. My friends believe at some time I should not do these things. Currently its been three years. The results of some memories can have devastating effect. Here where the problem may lye. The spirit cries for us to move forward...but the flesh...requires that you stay. Which is stronger. Getting the heart and the mind to be in agreement can be one of most difficult task known to man. How is that you can forget about someone who has played such a significant portion in your life. Yet at the same time trying to move forward and take care of the pieces in your own life. Agreed time is precious...but yet we honor those members who were not in our family yet done great things that have enriched our lives. So why not honor the ones that enriched your life and helped make you the person that you are today. So again I ask....when should the grieving end....or do we just simply let go and forget. Love is love and honor is honor....your thoughts